Aslam was a loud and shout boy during our academic days; he was always participating during the lectures. Some people thought that “He is trying to become one and only of the class”. Slowly and gradually, he made a huge circle of friends and adopted few new habits like smoking. We then realized that he was a very social person and our initial perspective for him was not that right. Later, as his ship of friendship got too much occupied, he stopped participating in the class. He was known everywhere having good Salam Dua with everyone in a short time and people started to call him Aslam Jigar. How he manages such a huge circle of friends? We often thought this…
I discovered his various characteristics with the passage of time. Soon, I developed a strong feeling that apparently lively and socialized Jigar is somewhere empty inside his heart. Aaah!
As life moved foreword and Social media became an integral element of our lives; Aslam carried same Jigar type passion forward into the online world. He was out there in most of the friends circle related discussions; intense presence in the outings and gatherings snaps. But at times, I felt that he had become an object of humor and absurdity where each comment relating to him was made in a casual manner. Serious and considerate attitude was scarcely found regarding Aslam Jigar. Main question for any sane person studying Aslam was that; ‘Will all this continue for the rest of the life?’
And while switching gears of his career path; Aslam curtailed his social circle rather quickly. He was just vanished from the social media and also from all discussion forums. This whole change in attitude was really indigestible for me. Every now and then someone inside me asked me “Jigar ko kiya hogaya hai, why is he not vocal anymore?” I tried to express this feeling with some related people but got rather casual replies.
I personally felt that lack of proper care and concern from others forced Aslam to eradicate Jigar from his persona. Everybody else was progressing well in their careers with very smart planning; I was doubtful anybody bothered to discuss Aslam’s career path with him as he was there to only satisfy Buddy thing for all. While following his Jigri habbits, he perhaps reached that intense point from where it was impossible to return back. So he might have decided to mark an end to all this to start a brand new life.
I then decided to brake the shackles, wrote few pages of my perspective regarding turnaround in Jigar’s persona and send it to him being rather nervous. I wanted to know reason behind this 180 degree change in his behavior. My concern was right but surprisingly most of my apprehensions proved out to be wrong. In his response, Jigar open his heart out in front of me. I was now reading a genuine tale of transformation, from Jigar to a well mature gentleman. Aslam outlined distinctive phases of his life in front of me. From a Mummy Daddy boy raised in strict middle class to his path to educational institutions. Loosing some loved ones in a very young age with some added tragedies in life broke him from inside. With a passion to explore his individuality in life, Jigar faced a turbulent Professional life. Jigar traveled many parts of the world and as he says in his own words.
“The person who keeps on changing (or exploring) his paths face more challenges and difficulties. Perhaps this was the same for me. Love yourself first!! is the lesson which I learnt all along my life. Having said that, I can say that there have been times when my friends were there when I needed them the most. But somehow I feel that there are times in your life when you get to love yourself first.”
Jigar further tells me his story and says:
“Coming back to the “Jigar” part of my personality, I think I have it as a reserve but now I use it for only some selected people. A very important part of this is I now also want to fulfill my other wishes just as reading books, meditation to Allah, and even sports. I mean there is a lot in life than just to spend times in chit-chat with friends. Probably, the number of deaths I have seen in a very young age should be enough source of lessons to me. I will be insane if I don’t take lessons from those events.”
He then briefly explains his traveling experiences and becoming more mature with the passage of time. Jigar concluded as:
“I will do share with you one lesson. And that is in these times only few people will sympathize with you; few people will be honest in your terms with you. Alhamdullilah, there are not many stringent experiences that I have got like these but I have observed so many. Matlab kee duniya hai aur log pata nahi kiyun sirf apne aap k liye jee rahe hain…There are few who are really honest and really empathetic…there are few who will be there for you no matter what… The key to your happiness is don’t expect much from anybody. Yet make yourself available to help in the maximum capacity you can. That is something which you can mention to Allah while begging in duas.Serving humanity is the best exchange to ask something from Allah.”
Jigar showed me his inside with deep emotions; sadly not often we try to see how other people are fighting their battles…
This is only one case; I have seen 2-3 other scenarios as well where such kind hearted, sincere and friendly people gets their FULL STOP at certain stage each after their own experiences and circumstances. The readers must have witnessed quite a few instances within their social circles. But the irony is when people leave them at their own, forgetting things they had done for us and in process looses such pure people from our lives. This world is such a place where we do not value people who are giving value to us and keeps running behind those who are not much caring. As a result after sometime, we loose the real jewels from our lives…
We must give due respect to all Jigars, Janis, Yaars and Lalas. Need to be very careful in dealing such people as such people are very sensitive and have very intense feelings. As it is very well said by someone “Never take someone for granted, hold every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realise that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones.” Remember this always in life…
Ahh and life continues, we wake up in morning and run like machines for the whole day. Money is there, luxuries are there, I am there, rest everyone is there, Aslam is also there BUT Jigar is no more…Jigar khamosh hogaya!
This article was published at following in 14 April, 2016
Article No 48